Ups and Downs.

There’s a lot of ups and downs to my mood this week, just like the constantly changing weather, and I can’t say it’s my favorite week. Last weekend I felt so bored like a prisoner trapped in Azkaban or something. I want to get out, hunt photos, and capture the beauty of the things around me but there are always something getting me out of the way. And so after rolling around the floor like a lazy sloth on Sunday morning, I get up and decided to have a chit-chat with my cacti. That’s when I noticed something was wrong. I have two mini cactus and I just adore this one; the one that got wobbly and after I check it turned out that the stem was roten up to its root.

This picture was taken before I knew it and after all, you wouldn’t know it unless you touch it. I was so upset. Why this one? I like its thorn that felt like rough brush on my fingers, it’s just my favorite. Why now? Just when I thought I can entertain myself with it. I tried to remove the sick stem but like I said, its roten to its root so I’m really pessimistic that there is something I can do other than get a new one.

My friends were as bored as I am so it’s nice to meet up with them and talk about a hell lot of things. And turn out there is a little flora and fauna exhibition (!) at a mall nearby. My heart melts on the grey Siberian Husky with light eyes but in the same breaks to see those little animals that supposed to be treated by their mothers are now on those little cages, ready to be sold. So yeah, I finally go out, took pictures of one of the scene I’ve always want to, and then... got warned by a security guard. I’m sorry for being an amateur, Sir, but I’m not that stupid to use flashlight to photograph other people and to the street and caused harm to the drivers. But whatever, I got the pictures I want.

I wish they will never take those lights off the trees.

I got home and found out that my welcome email from Pottermore had finally arrived. And then I decided to go check my favorite blog and was so happy to see a new post on her page. I read further and further and I know this is gonna be bad. I’m so sad that Aura Joon decided to jump ship. I kind of lost my passion on blogging for awhile. She’s the first blogger whose blog I’ve ever bookmarked and visit regularly. I decided to close the blogs I’ve had for years because I don’t know what else to do with it anymore, because everytime I read the old posts I feel like I’m reading a journal of a full of rants teenager. So started this one, hoping that even though it is simple, it’s not gonna be meaningless. And I owe Aura for the inspirations. I want to keep optimistic that she’ll eventually come back with her beautiful words, photos, and points of view. I totally respect her for that. She always amazed me with her ideas and how she holds on to it. And for her I wish nothing but the very best.

I’m still trying to fully understand... I mean, if I leave my blog then it won’t mean so much, but her? She got these whole audience and loyal readers...
In my attempt to understand, I’m reminded of myself. Sometimes when I feel that someone is knowing too much of me or that I’ve exposed too much to them, I’ll lock myself and slowly push them away outside the boundary of my underworld. Almost disappear. It’s the only way I can feel safe again so that when I’m ready I can open myself again for them to go into. She, well... she wants to live life to the fullest without people looking. And I wish her good luck.

I want to give it a try for myself. I want to stop thinking, ‘Oh this is gonna be a great blog post!’ just to impress people instead of just sharing. I’ll just post things for what they are, post the pictures for the pictures could speak better than I can. And hopefully that way I can keep things real to myself.